Shame has immobilized my words.
But not my participation.
Layers of shame prevent the words from coming forward.
I’m searching for them, but they are locked away.
One day I will find them.
And release them…forever.
But today, I can let them know that,
“I’m coming for you
And when I find you,
I will be free.
When I set out to write the poem, I couldn’t find any words. I didn’t want to deal with having to think about this part of my history. I came up against a wall that blocked any visiting of the old hurts and abuses of the past. I didn’t care for the weakness I felt when I tried to find the words… and then I realized it was the shame… preventing me from thinking about or visualizing this trauma. It was too much for me. So these are the words I found.