Empowering survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse from around the globe, connecting and healing collectively through poetry.
#globalpoetrymovement
Recent Poems
Borrowed Moods
Each day I startle awake, my days undefined,
I’m a prisoner to forces beyond my own mind.
Is my mother angry? Is that today’s norm?
Or is she serene? Will she keep me warm?
Did I receive that text? The one I waited for so long?
Or was I again left waiting, maybe my own judgement was wrong.
The skies decide wether I smile or frown,
gloomy clouds weigh heavy, dragging me down.
Sunshine can lift me but only so high,
light does not shine where my sorrows lie.
My most loved grow weary of the sadness they see,
I wish they could understand how tiring it is to be me.
I wish they could know how much it really takes,
to live in this whirlwind of highs and heartaches.
Their patience wears thin but I’m always aware,
I really try to be happy, I do, I swear.
My feelings are so random, I’m playing a losing game,
but I grow tired of myself so who can I blame?
For them, grief is a passing, a brief rain, a light shower,
but for me, it’s a lifetime of suffering- every minute of every hour.
G. K. Dhaliwal | Canada
I’ve loved poetry for a long time before I attempted writing it. I use it as a form of therapy. Whenever I can’t express my feelings through words, music, or sitting with it- I write. It forces me to think about my emotions and process them as I’m working on something. By the time I’m done writing a poem, I’ve let out all my feelings and felt them out as I form sentences that flow together. Not to mention I’m left with something I created and something I’m happy with. After I wrote this poem I let out a sigh of relief. It felt good to once again release my thoughts on paper.
Poison
Come join me,
In the dark.
I’ll make room for you,
Wake up your body,
Open your heart.
I’ll swallow your pain,
The poison I deserve.
It can’t kill me,
I am already dead.
S. Kohlman | Canada
It can be a struggle to have healthy relationships after CSA. At the time I was feeling responsible for the difficulties and felt hopeless and alone in the darkness.
Tired
I’m tired.
Leave me by the hospital doors,
No looking back.
Avoid my eyes,
Don’t hear my pain.
No more need to measure my worth with your measuring cups.
Give back my love before you go,
Should I try to build it again.
I’m tired,
My Dragon Lady, burning it all down.
Nowhere to anchor
So much haze
She’s so small,
She doesn’t know where to go, what to do.
Wishes she didn’t survive
This life not worth living
She can’t feel with half a heart,
Or navigate your rules.
Don’t take the chance,
She’s not safe for you.
Cover her eyes
Shut her mouth
Plug your ears
She can’t run with numb legs
Her cries won’t stop
Leave it all at the hospital doors
Save yourself
Wash your hands
Take your broken heart.
S. Kohlman | Canada
Navigating adult love relationships as a survivor is tricky when we don’t have the tools or understanding. Our behaviors can be hurtful to our families when we are fiercely protecting our little ones from feeling in unhelpful ways that are no longer serving us. I wrote this during a dark place where I didn’t have the skills to navigate my relationship in a healthy way.