JE Field, Canada

Still, I find them in their prisons, but they love me...
I ask them to show me how they got there.
Their distress and nightmares become mine...
Some places we glimpse and run, they are too dangerous...
We escape to favourite places and bask in the warmth of safety and peace.
Mostly, we discover the need to assuage their wounded hearts
We rebuild their memories and fill them with love and tenderness.
They hide things still...they have so much shame...or I cannot see.
Even when we are stuck, we still bond...we swim in healing waters.
We fight, we rage, we tantrum, take vengeance...find empowerment.
We replay history and reclaim their losses.
They find safety, love, community, acceptance...
I hole filled.
That sword stops stabbing.
An organ is less tainted...some poison is sifted out
Those banal words and predicaments can be a part of my life
A moment relieved of possession...I am eradiated.
I smile...a freedom to exist, to stand straight and tall.

Author Statement

The poem is a reflection on my process of doing inner child meditations to reparent and reimagine safety and reclaim needs that were never provided. This poem is one of seven other poems reflecting on my inner child work and focuses on the phase where I was learning to use meditation to find pain relief from triggers. I learned my back pain is caused by an aroused emotion trapped in my body and that meditation could provide the underlying need that my emotion wanted to experience to find relief. This poem describes the process of finding my inner children in spaces of deprivation, rescuing them, and providing a safe space to meet their needs. The conclusion conveys my experience of releasing tension to find relief from chronic back pain and the joy of experiencing no triggers in a historically triggering moment. I have just completed a book of seven poems with a collection of drawings called “My Left Hand is Talking, My Right Hand is Nurturing,” that chronicles this process of using inner child meditation to heal and find relief of the symptoms of abuse.


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