We have to listen
We have to act
Protect our children
That's all we ask 🙏
MLG Survivor
RIP MK 🙏
We have to listen
We have to act
Protect our children
That's all we ask 🙏
MLG Survivor
RIP MK 🙏
I hear you. I see you.
Something happened to you that never should have happened.
It wasn’t your fault.
Come share your voice.
Be heard.
Be believed.
Find trust and safety again.
I’m right here.
I hear you.
I believe you.
Author Statement
These poems started to come to me with ease in January 2019, about 9 months after I had a concussion. It was after 9 months of really slowing down and resting (because the concussion gave me no other choice!) that these poems started to arise. The first one I ever wrote arose when I realized how lost and disconnected I’d been for so many years. But now there was a turning point where I was starting to feel something different! I was beginning to experience joy, gratitude and health again. My first poem ("Light and Dark") arose when I saw this difference. Over time, these poems would come as “downloads” after I’d allow myself to feel emotions and hurts of past traumas. Sometimes they’d come during meditation or while being in nature. Other times they’d come after therapy appointments or after being in contact with a toxic relative. They came sporadically, sometimes months apart. The poems have been an outlet for me to allow my voice, feelings and thoughts to come through; and with no expectation or pressure on myself of whether I’d share them or not. They’ve been a part of my healing journey and process. I hope they help others too now in some way!
There was nowhere for them to hide.
What did they see, oh god, what did they see?
The children torn from families
And killed by diseases--
Diseases of their keepers’ minds.
A school by any other name…?
Extermination Camp.
There is nowhere for us to hide.
We run
From the burning shame,
The burning forests,
The burning remains of life,
Fueling our mad escape.
Now finding ourselves
Ablaze and engulfed by the wind
Of our running, choking on the smoke
And mirrors.
How many bodies of children
Until we hit rock bottom?
Until we come alive to our deadness,
And look into a child’s eyes?
Author Statement
I wrote this poem to cope with the grief that comes up over the children violated and killed in Canada’s genocide. The failure to recognize and cherish the goodness and dignity of children--instead to see children as expendable--kills the future, and I believe keeping our hearts open and facing the devastating truths of the past is our only hope. I feel such broken longing to care for those who died, and when the tears come for them, they also come for me, and you. All children are worthy of love. Always.
For all those times
You stripped away my layers
Made me taste forbidden fruit
Forced my hands to do your work
Penetrated beyond boundaries
Hands snaked around my neck ready to silence the sound
For all those times
I never said no.
For all those times
I endured unwanted shadows creeping inside
Felt cold metal of a barrelled gun pushed against my head
Suffered perversion of injustice
Paralysed my breath through restrained fear
Offered my services on a plate
For all those times
I never said no.
For all those times
I quickened my footsteps down a dim lit path
Criss-crossed patterns in the road to shake away the followers
Barricaded my sanctuary through blockades of furniture
Feigned sleep to hasten your desire
Gave you permission without speaking a word
For all those times
I never said no.
For all those times
I didn’t dare scream
Kept quiet
Stayed silent
Never fought back
Ever told
For all those times
I never said no.
For all those times
I felt special
Chosen by you
Thought you loved me
Wanted your attention
Asked for more
For all those times
I never said no.
For all those times
I trusted you
Loved you
Despised you
Feared you
Missed you
For all those times
I never said no.
For all those times
I trembled to speak
Felt ashamed
Pushed the knife deeper in
Faded into darkness
Shattered into broken pieces
For all those times
I never said no
For all those times
I am haunted daily
I speak out
Fear will no longer silence me
My voice shall be heard
Truth will resonate
For all those times
I never said no.
For all those times
I wasn’t asked
I give myself permission
My choice
My body
My right
For all those times
I never said no.
For all those times
I longed to say stop
Stop.
I am the adult
With ownership
Of my freedom
For all those times
I never said no.
For all those times
You think you won
Of lives destroyed
We will stand strong
United in power
Together as one
For all these times
We will say no.
Author Statement
I wrote a new poem from my new collection, for all those who suffered childhood sexual abuse, sexual assault, trauma, unwanted harassment and attention, put in a position of vulnerability, domestic violence and situations where you were not ever given a choice to say no.
I was so young-so innocent.
I trusted you, I loved you.
I thought you loved me too.
But you sexually violated my body, mind and soul.
You ignored my plaintive cries.
Now I'm drenched with anger, fear, grief and shame.
I'm all alone.
I'm living the searing pain.
My life is broken!
I yearn:
to trust again,
to connect again,
to love again,
to be the child I never was,
to dream again,
to be free of pain.
Why me?
STOP!
Author Statement
I am not a victim/survivor of csa. However, I have facilitated phase 1 groups at The Gatehouse; am a former Board Director at TGH, and have published a dozen articles dealing with restorative justice and victims, including survivors of childhood sexual abuse and TGH.