Written by: The Gatehouse

Weak, weak, weak.
My mind is in a fog.
My vision is in a haze.
This is how I spent many of my days.
Days, weeks, months, years…
My inner being drowning from tears.
And now, I have a sense of strong.
I haven’t mastered it yet but I am no longer all wrong.
I have a sense of strong…
to get me through my days.
I have a sense of strong…
to look past the haze.
A day at a time, I continue to climb.
A day at a time, I clear my mind.
Be gentle they say, you’ll find your way…
I believe you now, thank you and have the best day.

I am who I am, and you are who you are. 
Respect. Trust. Love.
Near and far.
Our time together is up to the stars.

It’s all up in the air but in one form or another, I am always here.

I’ll think what I think, and so will you.
I repeat this for me, and for you.

This is just a little reminder to always be true,
To your new and ever changing friend, the one that looks back at you…

I have a tortured mind and you may too.

After you read this poem, may I suggest to say, “I release you.”

The mind is cunning…

Oh yes, it’s wise.

But these thoughts are not truly yours nor mine…

They are not for us to keep.

Live and be free in your light.

Shed those bad thoughts…

The ones that come about all day and all night.

You are perfectly imperfect.

Yes, All of you…

So own it! 

Live it!

And tell these thoughts, I release you!

I forgive you.

One day, this may be true….

But for now and first off, FUCK YOU!

Oh, don’t worry…by “YOU” I mean me too.

But for now, let’s get back to you…

Yes, you!

You know who you are.

Dig deep, you know every last detail to be true. 

You are to blame and if you need a reminder, look in the mirror and say, “Fuck you!”

Should you choose to remain in the dark, I will no longer take part…

in this facade that we play in all night and all day.

I have an inner child to tend to, one that is waiting to shout, “Hurray!”

So day by day, bare with me as I say, I forgive you I do.

But also, momentarily, FUCK YOU!

Dark thoughts at night,

may you see the light.

Dark thoughts at night,

I release your fright.

Dark thoughts at night,

it’s my time to bite.

Dark thoughts at night,

it’s time to turn off the light.

Dark thoughts at night, 

it’s time for me to have a Good Night.

She took the same book out of her church library about 30 times between the ages of 8 to ten. Oh,  how I wish I could have held her close and told her again and again
You can tell me

The book she read told her to tell if someone touched her inappropriately. Surround by so many adults couldn't they see the book was a plea
For help

Oh how I wish I could have held her hand in love, I wish she could have told me
In her teens, struggling with body image, hatred for the parts he touched;  they labeled her unpleasant and miserable a person you should never expect much 

How I would have loved to offer her some encouragement, a smile
Maybe then she would have told me

In her 20s and 30s constantly hounded by memories those she finally told shamed and dismissed her, "you're hurting his legacy!" How I wished I was stronger to become a defender of self... you see,

She is me

Now in my 40s a mother, fearless protector no longer owning the shame. I am victorious I am a THRIVER I now know my name

How I now love me and trust me as I come into my own

I'm Beautiful, loved, kind and courageous  

I am me

I am Annie

I am free